THE EAST CENTRAL INDIANA CHAPTER Of THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS
Bird Houses for New Families
Suggestion shared by Jackie Wesley
from the Miami-Whitewater and East Central Indiana Chapters
Jackie Shares
I'd like to share with you our chapter outreach program. We either buy ( when we can find them ) or a member will make small birdhouses. They have a small flower decoration attached to the side usually so that a small hand cut butterfly can ALWAYS be inserted. On the bottom of the birdhouse I make labels saying " Given to you in memory of your precious child by the Compassionate Friends" I also hang a small "to" ( parents name) card on the birdhouse saying "With our sympathy, The Compassionate Friends". I print out a very nice sympathy card to be given along with the bird houses. This goes to the funeral home when a child has died or when we are either notified. Sometimes we read it in the paper.
I personally have chosen the ages of my own children as the cut off ages, I did not know where to draw a line as every death is someones child.and we know we cannot deliver to all who dies. I like to have the birdhouse delivered before the viewing as that lets many others know of TCF.
In a couple weeks or,sometimes a month later I try to contact the parents ( if I can get the address) and send a personal letter with our chapter brochure and also "The Principals of TCF" pamphlet to the parents with a invitation to attend our meetings .I sometimes receive thank you cards or if I happen to talk to the parents on the phone or they attend a meeting, they will many times tell me that they appreciated the birdhouse, some even more than the flowers they received, because WE CARED!! And many of course had never even heard of TCF.
In almost 12 years of doing this we have delivered well over 300 birdhouses. There have been times when we didn't have a birdhouse ready or had run out of them ,in that case I would buy a small angel and take that to the funeral home. I want to stress that it isn't what you take,or how much it costs, it's that you cared enough to let the parents know they are not alone.
I started out with small flower arrangements in a bud vase, and wanted a way to display a butterfly, so that is how the birdhouse came about for us.
Our purchased birdhouses and Angels usually come from a retail store when we can find them for a decent price and they are sometimes already painted or sometimes they might need stained. The butterflies are cut from any type of materials I may have on hand. We have at times had fathers who will make us a few of the birdhouses, and donate them in their childs memory.
I would be interested in knowing what other chapters do as their outreach program if they have one. What we do is not at all expensive. We might have a couple dollars at the most invested in each birdhouse and card we deliver. It may be a little time consuming to put the flowers and butterflies on but that is also very worthwhile just to be able to help these parents.
I promote all this in memory of my daughter Teresa Wesley Hough who died
Updated February 24, 2008