Bird Houses for New Families

Suggestion shared by Jackie Wesley
from the East Central Indiana Chapters

 

Jackie Shares

I'd like to share with you our chapter outreach program. We either buy ( when we can find them ) or a member will make small birdhouses.  They have a small flower decoration attached to the side usually so that a small hand cut butterfly can ALWAYS be inserted. On the bottom of the birdhouse we make labels saying " Given to you in memory of your precious child by the Compassionate Friends"  We also hang a small "to" ( parents name) card on the birdhouse saying "With our sympathy, The Compassionate Friends". We print out a very nice sympathy card  to be given along with the bird houses. This goes to the funeral home when a child has died or when we are either notified. Sometimes we read it in the paper.

I personally have chosen the ages of my own children as the cut off ages,  I did not know where to draw a line as every death is someones child.and we know we cannot deliver to all who dies.  We like to have the birdhouse delivered before the viewing as that lets many others know of TCF. 

  We sometimes receive thank you cards or if I happen to talk to the parents on the phone or they attend a meeting, they will many times tell me that they appreciated the birdhouse, some even more than the flowers they received, because WE CARED!!    And many of course had never even heard of TCF. 

In almost 15 years of doing this we have delivered well over 500 birdhouses or a small arrangement.  There have been times when we didn't have a birdhouse ready or had run out of them ,in that case we take another article with our card and also a butterfly attached, I do want to stress that it isn't what you take,or how much it costs, it's that you cared enough to let the parents know they are not alone. 

I started out with small flower arrangements in a bud vase, and wanted a way to display a butterfly, so that is how the birdhouse came about for us.

Our purchased birdhouses and Angels usually come from a retail store when we can find them for a decent price  and they are sometimes already painted or sometimes they might need stained. The butterflies are cut from any type of materials I may  have on hand. We have at times had fathers who will make us a few of the birdhouses, and donate them in their childs memory.

I would be interested in knowing  what other chapters do as their outreach program if they have one. What we do is not at all expensive.  We might  have a couple dollars at the most invested in each item and  card we deliver. It may be a little time consuming to put the flowers and butterflies on  but that is also very worthwhile just to be able to help these parents. 

I promote my work in memory of my daughter Teresa Wesley Hough  who died October 2,1993 

Our members who help with the decorating, and purchasing items also do it in memory of their precious child